ready to break free

dear candice,
candice, i feel like im locked in a box or trapped in a bubble and i just can't get out. everything seems so fake. this world that im living in is so deprived. it's so hypocritical, jugemental, beligerant, condesending, and selfish. im really getting tired of it. i want to get out to the real world. when some people say that, they mean they want to grow up and do everything themselves and they dont want anyone to tell them what to do, when to do it or how to do it. they want it to be perfect. but for me, i feel like my world is too perfect. i have way more than i need, physically and emotionally. i dont care about growing up. i want people to give me boundries and obsticles so that i can push my way through them with the help of my God so that i will come out stronger. i want my world to be totally screwed up. am i crazy for hoping for these things? am i being compleatly irrational? should i just shut up and be thankful that im even living? am i out of my mind for thinking this? no. the answer is no. im not crazy. everyone else is. if no one else in this entire world wants to acctually experience the spirit of God from dying to themselves and giving up all that they are and all that they have for the Kingdom of God, then they are all crazy. if everyone else in the entire world would rather go through the motions and be so caught up in the few little days they will spend on this earth instead of the eternity that they will potentially spend with their Creator, than am i really the irrational one here? i want to be set free from the chains that this world has bound me with and go crazy for God. its hard though. its hard to just totally randomly start talking about God in the middle of a conversation with someone else who doesnt have the same passion that you do. its hard to go out and tell every soul about the freedom that comes from believeing in a greater picture of salvation when you cant even drive. its hard to talk to people about how you feel about this world when they just build up a wall and totally ignore you. its hard. but hey, if nothing in life was hard than we wouldnt need God to give us strength.
im ready to go and do the hard things- no matter the cost. im ready to go and go and go and not stop until the whole world His name. im ready to serve. im ready to do Gods will in all of us, even if im the only on who steps up to the plate. im ready.
let's go.
i love you.
love,
sara