the 'me' factor

Dear Candice,
I'm sorry i haven't written in a while. I would say i have been busy, but it's summer and honestly I've been lazy.

Something has been bothering me lately. Something that I don’t think very many people want to talk about because they are guilty of it, including myself. And that something is selfishness. Just think for a second on when the last time was when you did something that wasn’t about you. It seems as if the motives behind most of the things we do is “to save time so that I can spend more time for ME,” or “I want to save money so that I can spend more on ME,” or “I want to buy this shirt so that everyone will see that I gave money to orphans and they will think I am a good person,” or “I want to help that person so that I feel better about myself.” I’m not going to lie, I think that way a lot. I hate it though. I hate that I’m so self-absorbed. I hate that I am my fist priority. A lot of times I spend so much time on doing what I want to do, or what will make me feel better that I distract myself from spending time with my Creator. It’s funny that I could spend hours doing my hair or exercising or baking (which all make me feel good) but after a few more hours I don’t feel that great anymore. On the other hand, just a 10 minute intimate conversation with my Savior will leave me refreshed and satisfied for a whole lot longer than hours of self-fulfillment. But I still get way too caught up in what I want. So my new objective is to have God as my fist priority and then fit everything around Him, instead of trying to cram in a few seconds of prayer here or there.

So if I just sit here and write about how I’m so selfish I will not get ANYWHERE. I need to do something about it. It’s time to take action. So I’m going to find some way to serve someone other than myself and not tell the whole world what “good” of a person I am for serving other people. I’m not exactly what I’m going to do yet, but I will find something. Trust me.

I want every thought of what I want to do or what will make me happy to turn into thanks that I am even alive and that I am healthy and praise to the One that brought me into this world.

Ready. Set. Go.

I love you.

Love,

Sara