love of orphans and motherly love

{haiti day 7}
Dear Candice,
today for the first half of the day we went shopping. I bought a machete, some braceletes, some neckleces, jars, and a painting. We got to bargian with the vendors on the side of the road. It was super cool.
For the second half of the day, we were free to do what we wanted. So I went down to the Creche. We leave tomorrow so I had to say goodbye to the kids. I spent every second of my time down there with Dafka. I didn't put her down. I just couldn't do it. So I took her out to the patio and sung to her as she fell asleep, as usual. And then i started talkng to her while she was alseep. She had no idea I was talking to her because she was asleep, but even if she was awake, I was speaking English and she is only two. I cried and cried as I sung to her and told her how much I love her.
Having to say goodbye was the hardest thing I have ever done. After she woke up, she saw that I was crying. She reached up, took her tiny hands and wiped my sunbured, tear saturated face. then she laid back down. My tears did'nt stop. i continued to weep and weep as I held such a fragile and treasured life in my arms. So she looked back up at me, took off my glasses, and wiped my tears with the rough fabric of her dress.
When I finally said goodbye, I made my way up to the roof. When I was going up, I saw Laura Lyn. She saw that I was crying and quickly embraced me in her arms. Her welcoming hug was the boost that I needed to make it the next few hours.
So I went up to the roof of the guest house to try to write. All I could hear was her innocent voice as she cried my name 6 floors below me. I looked down the off the roof and saw her sitting on the stairs caling my name with tears streaming down her dark face. As soon as she say me, she motioned for me to come down to her. I broke. I had to go back down there but I knew that if I went back down, I wouldnt be able to leave.
So I sat back in a chair on the roof sobbing and crying out to God in my distress.
I knew that He was the only one that could help me.
After her cries stopped, I looked down again, 15 minutes later to see her laying on the steps waiting for me.
I can't leave. I just don't think that i physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually have the ability to go back to the states.
This is where I belong.
I love you.
Love,
Sara