time management

Dear Candice,
Sorry I haven't written in so long. I've been on vacation.
So while I was at the beach all of last week, I learned something about myself. I seem to have so time management issues. I had a full week away from crazy Nashville life and I was off to one of my favorite places on earth. I was so excited to just do nothing.
It was all great until the last day of my stay when I hadn't done anything that I should have done regardless of if I was on vacation or not.
For example, I didn't write to you at all. I had so much free time and so many opportunities to write, but I chose not to. I have no idea why. Writing to you is one of my favorite things to do.
I found myself feeling empty.
I had wasted a week of precious time that isn't coming back.
I got so angry with myself. I sat beating myself up for wasting time.
And then I realized that I was wasting time by beating myself up.
So I took a minute to gather my thoughts and try to get back on track. A single cry out to God was all I needed. In that moment I found myself with peace.
He heard my call and answered me.
Time management is something that I don't really want to deal with. But I'd much rather spend my time with my Savior, serving Him than wasting it away on vacation.
Now I know how I need to change things up.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

the cost of blessings

Dear Candice,
sometimes life throws things at you that are tough to deal with. We are faced with road blocks and detours all the time. I mean, if you're a human being, then you've experienced some sort of loss or heartache. It's just all apart of life. It's all in God's plan to make us stronger and to live for Him.
Jesus says in Matthew 5:4 "You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most near to you."
This rings so true in my life. Sometimes it takes a hard loss of something or someone that meant a lot to you in order for you to see how God is working in your life. We can get caught up in relationships and in things we take pride in and lose sight of what is truly important to us.
But we are so lucky. We have a loving Father who is jealous for us. He cares about us more than anything and longs to spend time with us. If we get distracted by the temporary feelings that this world has to offer, He draws is back to Him.
I can testify, and I know I'm not alone, that losing something that is important to me is hard to cope with and can sometimes be one of the worst feelings. But being embraced by the One, the only One who really matters, is no doubt the best feeling ever.
Losing is hard. But trusting God is rewarding.
Sometimes it takes being emptied to be blessed.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

compassion

Dear Candice,
I don't know about you, but I find myself in alot of situations where "doing the right thing" turns into doing something to make yourself look like a better person.
I know that was a pretty harsh intro to this letter, but it's true. I see things everywhere that people do to make themselves look like they are doing a good thing. But sometimes I see the things that people do and I can't help but think that their just trying to put on a show.
If you're not following me, I see things that I think could have potentially well-meaning motives behind them but can show up as being "better" than someone else. If you think that the more 147 Million Orphans t-shirts you have makes you seem to have a bigger heart, you may have your facts a little mixed up.
I know it sounds critical and judgmental, but really think that some people need to be exposed to the truth that God sees who you really are. Jesus said it best in Matthew 6:
"When you do something for someone else, don't call attention to yourself. I'm sure you've seen the people who sit at the street corner acting compassionate as long as someone is watching. Sure, they get an applause, but that's all they get. When you help someone out, don't think about how it looks. Just do it- quietly and unobtrusively. That's the way your God, working behind the scenes, sees you." (Matthew6:2-4)
That's it. The world isn't a stage.
When we do something for His glory and don't make a big deal out of it, that's when we get our reward.
People don't see our hearts- God does.
And honestly, that's all that matters in the long run.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

full life 101

Dear Candice,
I found myself reading in Isaiah again. I just can't get enough of it. Such an amazing book.
What I read really struck me. And when I get struck by a verse, there's only one thing I do- write about it.
Here's what I read:
"If you get rid of unfair practices,
quit blaming victims,
quit gossiping about other people's sins,
If you are generous with the hungry
and start giving yourself to the down-and-out,
your life will begin to glow in the darkness,
your shadowed life will be bathed in sunlight.
I will always show you where to go.
I will give you life in the emptiest of places."
{Isaiah 58:9-10}
Just sit on that for a second. Read it again if you want.
Soak up what God just said to Isaiah.
The current relevance of much the Bible is often questioned. Not many people think that what the Bible tries to teach us applies to life today.
I might be crazy but I think this is by far the most relevant Scripture I've read. I mean, think about it: this book was written over 2,000 years ago. But guess what. We still talk about everything that's wrong with other people. There are people who are still hungry. And the world is still a dark place.
As I read this I was thinking it wouldn't be that hard to stop gossiping about people, pointing fingers, and start pouring out my heart to the lowest of lows.
But then I really started thinking about it.
I point fingers every single day. Its completely normal to do nothing but talk about everything that people do wrong. Talking about so-and-so and what they did this weekend with their boyfriend is just typical lunch table discussion. I find myself in the middle of this mess everyday. And I bet you're not far from it either.
Then there's the second verse- giving yourself to the down-and-out. Think about it- it really isn't that popular of a thing to do.
So now when I back up and get some perspective, what God is calling us to do isn't something you see every day. But that's just how God works.
The great thing is though, that God promises us that if we start to do these things- for His glory- our lives will glow in the darkness and He will give us full life in the emptiest of places. That's something that I'm willing to devote my life to for. If the Creator of every single little everything in the whole wide world promises me full life for serving Him, I don't want to just pass it up. Pretty simple.
I'm ready to stop pointing fingers and start being generous.
Are you?
I love you.
Love,
Sara

the power of prayer

Dear Candice,
Fun fact about me: I tend to have a hard time focusing. So every night when I pray, I write my prayers in a journal so that I stay on track and not get distracted.
One of the things I love about doing this, is that I can look back through my journals and see how my prayers have been answered.
Last night, I decided to look through the journal that I'm currently writing in. It goes back all the way to June. Not only did it give me a nice glimpse back to how much more different things were back then, but also I saw my struggles. I read so many letters of me rejoicing and praising God for who He is and what He had done for me. But at the same time, I read pleas for help. I read calls out to my Father to reach me where I was.
And I read Him answering me.
There was something that's really powerful about being able to visually see how hard of times you went through and then seeing just a few days later an answer to your prayers.
I found myself being slapped in the face with who God is and how He works.
I was reassured that He hears me where I am. He sees me. He takes care of me. He protects me.
He answers me.
Writing my prayers is a great way for me to unpack all of my thoughts and me totally real with the One who created me.
You should try it, Candice. You may find yourself relieved and rested when you open up to your Father.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

give thanks

Dear Candice,
today is my little brother's birthday. He's 8 today. He's growing up so fast that it's had to keep up with him.
I guess I could go on all day about him. He means so much to me. I would do anything for him.

But that's not what this letter is about.
I want to talk about something that faded out a few weeks ago.
Something that was such a big deal for one day, but then the next day, it was like nothing ever happened.
Something so cliche, so seemingly "overrated."
Something seemingly forgotten in the world I live in.
Candice, I want to talk about gratitude.
Thanksgiving is the day that we all fellowship with our families and talk about how thankful we are for each other. It's that one day of the year when you feel compelled to be humble- but just one day.
That's the problem.
It only lasts for one day. The thing I find funniest is that Black Friday is the very next day. Black Friday: the one day of the year that it's somehow legal to wake up at 2 am and throw elbows at vicious women at the mall. All Black Friday is is a day when we're allowed to be as selfish as we want...just the day after the one day a year when we are thankful for what we have. All leading up to a holiday where all we do is receive more.
The thing is, it's impossible to gratefully receive with clenched fists.
I want you to do something right now. Hold out one of your hands. Think about one thing that is by far the MOST   important thing in your whole life. Now clench your fist as hard as you can, as if your life depends on it. Hold on to that one thing as hard as you can. Don't stop.
Ok look at your hand. Doesn't that represent our hearts sometimes? Holding on so tight to something that may not even really matter in the long run.
Ok now let go of that one thing. Drop it. Surrender it to the Lord.
Ok now turn your hand up so that your palm is facing up. Receive what God has to offer. Let Him fill you up. Hold on to HIM.
Thank Him for what He has done for you.
Just thank Him.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

no box big enough

Dear Candice,
This letter is a few days delayed. I just now am getting around to write it.
My church partners with churches in countries all around the world. All of last week, the pastors of our partner churches came and stayed with families that go to my church.
On Sunday, one of the men, James from southern Sudan, shared his story. To say that his story was amazing is such an understatement. He was one of the Lost Boys and walked hundreds of miles from south Sudan to Etheopia at the age of 13. Crazy story. Just what I needed to have some perspective on my tiny "problems."
So after the service, I talked to a dear friend of mine named Callan. Callan went to China for two weeks about six months ago and has been radically moved by her Savior.
So we got to talking about the service and how good it was and she went on to tell me about how she's struggling with obeying God right now. She knows He wants her to go, but she doesn't know where and she doesn't know when.
This feeling of confusion hits pretty close to home for me. I know I need to go, but I have no idea what going looks like. I told her this and she said something that really stuck me in an extremely encouraging way.
"God doesn't fit in a box."
Just reflect on that for a second.
God is way to big to fit in any box that my little mind can construct.
That's it. I've been trying to make up my own ways of what "going" looks like. I'm trying to convince God that I want to go here at this time for this long and learn this.
But God doesn't exactly work that way.
This is where I need to rest in Him. This is where I need to trust that God has it all planned out just like I wrote in the last letter.
No worries. No plans. No control. No box that I can fit my God in.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

omnicient

Dear Candice,
Today, I was reminded of how great of a God I belong to. I read this in Isaiah.
"So why didn't anyone come when I knocked? Why didn't anyone answer when I called?
Do you think I've forgotten how to help? Am I so decrepit that I can't deliver?
I'm as powerful as ever. I can reverse what I once did.
I can dry up the sea with a word, turning river water into desert sand, leaving the fish stinking in the sun.
I can turn all the lights out in the sky and pull down the curtian." {isaiah50:2-3}

WOW. Just wow.
It hurts my little human to head to try to think about how holy my Father is.
We've all heard the cliche that "God has a plan."
Candice, let me give you some perspective.
Before anyone knew you would be here, He planned your whole life.
If that's not enough, before the Savior of the world, in His divine power hung the sun in the sky, He planned that right here, right now, you would be who you are- unlike anything else He has ever, or will ever create.
He really is as powerful as ever. He's God. He can do whatever the heck He wants.
God is omnicient. He knows everything.
EVERYTHING.
Don't forget that. When you're struggling and you don't think anyone understands, He knows.
When you succeed, theres no need to shove it down anyone's throat. He knows. And let's get real here. He is the only One who really matters.
Candice, He knows you.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

inspire

Dear Candice,
I have so much to say. I don't know where to begin. I guess I'll start with the inspiration for this letter.
Before school this morning, my friend Mary Katherine stopped me in the hallway. She told me that she found my blog and read every letter. Now, this was totally random and out of the blue, so I didin't exactly know how to respond. I mean, I was super excited that someone has read these, but at the same time, I was almost embarrassed. I started writing these letters before I was even in highschool...when I started, my writing skills weren't exactly on par.
But then I went and read some of the earlier ones. Yeah sure, some of the letters make no sense and the discriptions may suck, but I realized that every single word I've written has been from the bottom of my heart. And I mean that in the most serious way possible. I write about things here that I'm not sure that i would necessarily say otherwise. The stuff I write about is real.
These are my thoughts.
These are things that I think are really important that other people know.
Which brings me to another point.
I know that at least seven people have read my letters- or at least visited the site because they voted on the poll that I have  on the home screen. But that's it. No one else reads them that I know of.
I know I just said it, but I'll say it again. I write these letters because I think they are things that people need to know. Thats the whole reason I write these. If I wanted to, I could just keep all my thoughts in my head, which may be where they really belong, but instead, I choose to share them with whoever cares enough to take time to read what I have to say.
These letters are about real struggles. Struggles and conflicts that I think more people wrestle with. I just wish they knew they aren't alone.
Okay. Back to this morning.
So the last thing she said to me (or at least the last thing I remember) was, "You have a real gift, Sara. You inspire me."
Inspire. What a powerful word.
When I think about it, that's all I've ever wanted. Just to inspire someone. That's another reason I write these.
Maybe it's working.
So, Candice, who inspires you?
I love you.
Love,
Sara