going home

Dear Candice,
My prayers have been answered. I got the e-mail yesterday that said I've been put on a trip to go back to Haiti in June. My friend Mady called me and asked if I had gotten the e-mail so I went and checked and called her back. I was completly beside myself, and I still am. We sat on the phone for a little while going back to some memories of our last tip.
We laughed.
We cried.
We praised God.

For some reason, I've had this strange feeling that I wouldn't be going back this summer. I cried out to God every single day since I got back to Nashville last July that I would be able to go back.
Haiti is where my heart is. It's home.
I couldn't be happier to have the opportunity to go home.
I'm just speechless. This is just proof that God hears me. And I know that but sometimes I just need to be reasured of it. I'm definitely sure of it, thanks to things like this.
I'm so excited to embark on this long journey all over again. I know it won't be any easier, but I know that I will be changed even more. I'm more at peace now because I have more a feeling of what Haiti is like. I'm not alone in this journey either. I have been blessed with people around me who know what this is all like and people who I get to experience this amazing opportunity with for a second time.
I don't want to say that I know what to expect because I honestly don't know what kind of crazy stuff God is going to do in this, I just know that He's in the middle of all of it. He's in charge.
So here we go again.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

frozen fear & free faith

Dear Candice,
as I sat with a group of a dozen 5th grade girls that I teach in Sunday school this morning, they taught me something very important. I love that I can always depend on 11-year-old girls to give me the slap in the face that I need.
I've been in a weird mood lately. There's a part of me missing- the most important part. I've felt empty and like I've just been going through the motions. I'm just kind of tired and weary. I'm empty. I've been afraid, as usual, of oppinions, of emotions, of relationships. I'm having trouble letting go, but I know that now more than ever, in times like these, it's so important to let go.
We were talking about bravery when one of the girls said, "Fear freezes us, but faith frees us."
And I sat there speechless for a few seconds wondering how a 5th grade girl just comes up with that.
I don't know where she got it or why she said it. I just know that I needed it.
It's so refreshing that God always knows what I need and when I need it. I think He does that when I don't listen to Him. He uses crazy things and unexpected people to tell me exactly what I need to know.
It's so refreshing and so true.
I was frozen by my fear. I had stopped trying. But true faith and confidence in my Savior is what sets me free.
Fear freezes us; faith frees us.
I'm letting go.
I'm free.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

the eternal pearl

Dear Candice,
I read something this week that has driven me crazy- good, Jesus crazy.
I stumbled upon a short parable in Matthew that has left me longing for more of my Savior and to live for Him as best to my little human ablilty.
"The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid again; and from joy over it he went and sold all that he had and bought that field." {matthew 13:44}
I read some notes in my Bible about this parable that really put things in perspective. What this parable is saying is that God's kingdom is more precious than anything. At all. Ever. The man in the parable is supposed ot represent the person who wants an intamate relationship with Christ more that anything. And when I say anything, I mean anything. The man wanted the treasure so bad, that he sold everything that he had just so that he could have the treasure. He had to know the great value of the treasure hidden in the field if he 1) hid it and kept it a secret and 2) sold every single possesion that he had just to buy the field where the treasure was hidden.
If you parallel this to your life, it's saying that there should be such a fire burning in your heart, such a longing and desire to have eternal life with a perfect God, that you're willing to sacrifice everything you have just to have eternal life.

The next two verses are similar:
"The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls, and upon finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it." {matthew 13:45-46}
He wanted the priceless pearl for himself. I want the priceless eternal life with Christ. The merchant searched everywhere for a pearl and when he found it, nothing was going to stop him from getting it. I have found life- real true life- and now I'm asking myself what's stopping me from having it. We are all searching for that one thing to fill us up. When we find that one thing, that one priceless thing, what are we willing to do to have that one eternal thing?
So the main purpose of the parables that Jesus told served as an example to the people that listened to him that they could relate to. Obviously, here Jesus is talking to people who understood the goals and actions of merchant and aimless men. Even though I'm neither a merchant nor a trespasser on large land masses, I see the realtion of these stories to my life and I can say that now I undersand the message that Jesus is trying to convey when He told these parables.

So, Candice, do you believe that eternal life is so valuable that you're willing to give up what you have to spend forever with your Creator?
Think about it. Pray about it.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

nothing can stop Him

Dear Candice,
I've started reading this book called Forgotten God. It's by a man named Frances Chan who also read one of my favorite books, Crazy Love. So this book, Forgotten God, is all about the Holy Spirit. It's all about how the Holy Spirit can sometimes be pushed aside in modern Christianity because of the mystery of who He really is and what He does. It's an amazing book and it's definitely worth the read.
So there was a quote that Frances made that really stuck out to me.
"The world is not moved by love or actions that are of human creation."
He basically summed up everything right there.
When you think about it, it's so true. I mean, when's the last time that something was so changed and impacted in this world without the love and actions of the Spirit?
Never.
Honestly, the world would never change if it wasn't for the profound love and grace of God.
A few pages later, he said, "After all, if the Holy Spirit moves, nothing can stop Him."
So so true.
Now what I'm asking myself is where is the Holy Spirit moving in my life?
That's not an easy question either. Don't get me wrong- I haven't been ignoring the Holy Spirit, but I definitely think that I could be paying a whole lot more attetion to Him and what He's moving in my heart.
My question for you is, where is the Holy Spirit moving in your life? What is He doing in your heart? And most of all, are you paying attention?
Think about it.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

hope

Dear Candice,
if I were to say "hope" what is the very first thing that comes to your head? Think about it for a second.
I, personally, generally associate the word "hope" with some sort of happy feeling. Hope is usually characterized by some sort of anticipation or expectation.
If I were to say, "I have hope," what does that mean? Does it mean that I'm looking forward to something long awaited for? Does it mean that I'm wishing for something unusual or remarkable? Does it even mean that I've been faced with challenging situations that have left me with an open mind for the future?
Sure, it could mean these things, but I feel that there's something deeper to this concept of hope than what we generally define it as.
I believe that hope is more than wishing for something. Hope is more than a mind set or choice to live a happy life. Hope is so much more than those things.
I believe that hope is having confidence that experience, whether it's a merciless trial or celebrated triumph, will yield a beneficial result.
To put it simpler, hope is knowing for sure that good will come out of bad.
As I sit here trying to come up with some sort of explanation of what hope is and how to have hope, I realize that I can't tell you what hope looks like or what it feels like. All I can tell you to do is put your hope in God.
Keep your confidence in Him and Him alone.
I could keep going on for days about what the Bible says about hope. I could write a thousand letters about what to have hope in.
But that's not going to do much.
I just want to leave you with this.
"For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it." -romans 8:24-25
Hope is hope.
And real hope is in the Father alone.
Have hope.
I love you.
Love,
Sara