{oh the pressure}
dear candice,
the pressure is on. everyone i s silently looking at me expecting me to do or say something worth their time. i open my mouth, but nothing comes out. no words, no sounds. nothing. what do i do? i wait a while to think then try to say something again. this time i open my mouth and i start speaking. but nothing i say makes sense. they all just blankly stare at me and some whisper to each other. im just talking to hear myself, hoping that just reassuring everyone that i can still talk would make the spotlight on me disappear. but they cant relate to what im saying because they dont understand. i once again pause as the sight of anxious faces grows from inspiring to terrifying. i try to gather my thoughts but quickly realize that there is nothing to gather. i say a silent prayer. an unspoken plea to the only One who can help me at this point. and just when i think i have it together, He wispers to me, "what is there left to say? how long are you going to put off telling them the Truth?" i sigh and open my mouth this time with confidence and knowing exactly what i am going to say. i quietly and cautiously let out the words "God is faithful and true." i hear whispers again. they couldnt hear me. i hear Him speak again. "are you ashamed of Me? tell them the Truth." i sigh and face the crowd again. i take a deep breath ready to proclaim the Truth. i close my eyes and yell as loud as i can, "GOD IS FAITHFUL AND TRUE! and i am NOT ashamed of it!!!!" confused looks snap me back into reality after a few seconds of silence. they were taken back by what i had to say. i dont sudder or run away as i expected myself to- after all i just made a complete fool of myself. but i am a fool for Him. i am not ashamed. i expected the awful feeling of emmbarassment but i have never felt better. im on fire for Him and i just sparked all of their lives. this is who i am and i will continue to yell the truth.
i am a fool for Christ. are you?
i love you.
love,
sara
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