tuesday, july 13 2010

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dear candice,


My heart breaks.

Tears fill my eyes.

I want to scream.

A storm of emotion floods my heart.

I hate how you have to live in such a broken world… I don’t even know what to do.

I’m trying to wrap my brain around so much. Last night I was reading in Matthew chapter 10. I was curious about the names of Jesus’ disciples. Following directly behind the names of the disciples was Jesus’ command to them. He told them not to go to their hometowns to teach the Good News but instead He said, “But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. And proclaim as you go, ‘the kingdom of heaven is at hand.’ Heal the sick. Raise the dead. Cleanse lepers. Cast out demons. You received without paying; give without pay.”

This was such a slap in the face from God to me- especially the part that says, “Give without pay.” Am I willing to give without getting paid for it?

Since then, I have been thinking of ways to give without pay. Does this mean come back to see you and bring necessary food and clothes with me? Does it mean telling the lady I babysit for, “no thanks,” when she hands me a handful of old paper bills? I’m still working on the right thing to do.

This world is so broken and one person can make a difference- one person can fix it, one very strong willed person. I want to make a difference… I want to fix it. But I can’t do it alone. Gosh, I can’t do anything by myself.

I can’t do anything without Christ- but I can do everything with Him.

This is just a leaf off the tree of what is running laps around my head.

Give without pay.

I love you.

Love,

sara