time management

Dear Candice,
Sorry I haven't written in so long. I've been on vacation.
So while I was at the beach all of last week, I learned something about myself. I seem to have so time management issues. I had a full week away from crazy Nashville life and I was off to one of my favorite places on earth. I was so excited to just do nothing.
It was all great until the last day of my stay when I hadn't done anything that I should have done regardless of if I was on vacation or not.
For example, I didn't write to you at all. I had so much free time and so many opportunities to write, but I chose not to. I have no idea why. Writing to you is one of my favorite things to do.
I found myself feeling empty.
I had wasted a week of precious time that isn't coming back.
I got so angry with myself. I sat beating myself up for wasting time.
And then I realized that I was wasting time by beating myself up.
So I took a minute to gather my thoughts and try to get back on track. A single cry out to God was all I needed. In that moment I found myself with peace.
He heard my call and answered me.
Time management is something that I don't really want to deal with. But I'd much rather spend my time with my Savior, serving Him than wasting it away on vacation.
Now I know how I need to change things up.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

the cost of blessings

Dear Candice,
sometimes life throws things at you that are tough to deal with. We are faced with road blocks and detours all the time. I mean, if you're a human being, then you've experienced some sort of loss or heartache. It's just all apart of life. It's all in God's plan to make us stronger and to live for Him.
Jesus says in Matthew 5:4 "You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most near to you."
This rings so true in my life. Sometimes it takes a hard loss of something or someone that meant a lot to you in order for you to see how God is working in your life. We can get caught up in relationships and in things we take pride in and lose sight of what is truly important to us.
But we are so lucky. We have a loving Father who is jealous for us. He cares about us more than anything and longs to spend time with us. If we get distracted by the temporary feelings that this world has to offer, He draws is back to Him.
I can testify, and I know I'm not alone, that losing something that is important to me is hard to cope with and can sometimes be one of the worst feelings. But being embraced by the One, the only One who really matters, is no doubt the best feeling ever.
Losing is hard. But trusting God is rewarding.
Sometimes it takes being emptied to be blessed.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

compassion

Dear Candice,
I don't know about you, but I find myself in alot of situations where "doing the right thing" turns into doing something to make yourself look like a better person.
I know that was a pretty harsh intro to this letter, but it's true. I see things everywhere that people do to make themselves look like they are doing a good thing. But sometimes I see the things that people do and I can't help but think that their just trying to put on a show.
If you're not following me, I see things that I think could have potentially well-meaning motives behind them but can show up as being "better" than someone else. If you think that the more 147 Million Orphans t-shirts you have makes you seem to have a bigger heart, you may have your facts a little mixed up.
I know it sounds critical and judgmental, but really think that some people need to be exposed to the truth that God sees who you really are. Jesus said it best in Matthew 6:
"When you do something for someone else, don't call attention to yourself. I'm sure you've seen the people who sit at the street corner acting compassionate as long as someone is watching. Sure, they get an applause, but that's all they get. When you help someone out, don't think about how it looks. Just do it- quietly and unobtrusively. That's the way your God, working behind the scenes, sees you." (Matthew6:2-4)
That's it. The world isn't a stage.
When we do something for His glory and don't make a big deal out of it, that's when we get our reward.
People don't see our hearts- God does.
And honestly, that's all that matters in the long run.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

full life 101

Dear Candice,
I found myself reading in Isaiah again. I just can't get enough of it. Such an amazing book.
What I read really struck me. And when I get struck by a verse, there's only one thing I do- write about it.
Here's what I read:
"If you get rid of unfair practices,
quit blaming victims,
quit gossiping about other people's sins,
If you are generous with the hungry
and start giving yourself to the down-and-out,
your life will begin to glow in the darkness,
your shadowed life will be bathed in sunlight.
I will always show you where to go.
I will give you life in the emptiest of places."
{Isaiah 58:9-10}
Just sit on that for a second. Read it again if you want.
Soak up what God just said to Isaiah.
The current relevance of much the Bible is often questioned. Not many people think that what the Bible tries to teach us applies to life today.
I might be crazy but I think this is by far the most relevant Scripture I've read. I mean, think about it: this book was written over 2,000 years ago. But guess what. We still talk about everything that's wrong with other people. There are people who are still hungry. And the world is still a dark place.
As I read this I was thinking it wouldn't be that hard to stop gossiping about people, pointing fingers, and start pouring out my heart to the lowest of lows.
But then I really started thinking about it.
I point fingers every single day. Its completely normal to do nothing but talk about everything that people do wrong. Talking about so-and-so and what they did this weekend with their boyfriend is just typical lunch table discussion. I find myself in the middle of this mess everyday. And I bet you're not far from it either.
Then there's the second verse- giving yourself to the down-and-out. Think about it- it really isn't that popular of a thing to do.
So now when I back up and get some perspective, what God is calling us to do isn't something you see every day. But that's just how God works.
The great thing is though, that God promises us that if we start to do these things- for His glory- our lives will glow in the darkness and He will give us full life in the emptiest of places. That's something that I'm willing to devote my life to for. If the Creator of every single little everything in the whole wide world promises me full life for serving Him, I don't want to just pass it up. Pretty simple.
I'm ready to stop pointing fingers and start being generous.
Are you?
I love you.
Love,
Sara

the power of prayer

Dear Candice,
Fun fact about me: I tend to have a hard time focusing. So every night when I pray, I write my prayers in a journal so that I stay on track and not get distracted.
One of the things I love about doing this, is that I can look back through my journals and see how my prayers have been answered.
Last night, I decided to look through the journal that I'm currently writing in. It goes back all the way to June. Not only did it give me a nice glimpse back to how much more different things were back then, but also I saw my struggles. I read so many letters of me rejoicing and praising God for who He is and what He had done for me. But at the same time, I read pleas for help. I read calls out to my Father to reach me where I was.
And I read Him answering me.
There was something that's really powerful about being able to visually see how hard of times you went through and then seeing just a few days later an answer to your prayers.
I found myself being slapped in the face with who God is and how He works.
I was reassured that He hears me where I am. He sees me. He takes care of me. He protects me.
He answers me.
Writing my prayers is a great way for me to unpack all of my thoughts and me totally real with the One who created me.
You should try it, Candice. You may find yourself relieved and rested when you open up to your Father.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

give thanks

Dear Candice,
today is my little brother's birthday. He's 8 today. He's growing up so fast that it's had to keep up with him.
I guess I could go on all day about him. He means so much to me. I would do anything for him.

But that's not what this letter is about.
I want to talk about something that faded out a few weeks ago.
Something that was such a big deal for one day, but then the next day, it was like nothing ever happened.
Something so cliche, so seemingly "overrated."
Something seemingly forgotten in the world I live in.
Candice, I want to talk about gratitude.
Thanksgiving is the day that we all fellowship with our families and talk about how thankful we are for each other. It's that one day of the year when you feel compelled to be humble- but just one day.
That's the problem.
It only lasts for one day. The thing I find funniest is that Black Friday is the very next day. Black Friday: the one day of the year that it's somehow legal to wake up at 2 am and throw elbows at vicious women at the mall. All Black Friday is is a day when we're allowed to be as selfish as we want...just the day after the one day a year when we are thankful for what we have. All leading up to a holiday where all we do is receive more.
The thing is, it's impossible to gratefully receive with clenched fists.
I want you to do something right now. Hold out one of your hands. Think about one thing that is by far the MOST   important thing in your whole life. Now clench your fist as hard as you can, as if your life depends on it. Hold on to that one thing as hard as you can. Don't stop.
Ok look at your hand. Doesn't that represent our hearts sometimes? Holding on so tight to something that may not even really matter in the long run.
Ok now let go of that one thing. Drop it. Surrender it to the Lord.
Ok now turn your hand up so that your palm is facing up. Receive what God has to offer. Let Him fill you up. Hold on to HIM.
Thank Him for what He has done for you.
Just thank Him.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

no box big enough

Dear Candice,
This letter is a few days delayed. I just now am getting around to write it.
My church partners with churches in countries all around the world. All of last week, the pastors of our partner churches came and stayed with families that go to my church.
On Sunday, one of the men, James from southern Sudan, shared his story. To say that his story was amazing is such an understatement. He was one of the Lost Boys and walked hundreds of miles from south Sudan to Etheopia at the age of 13. Crazy story. Just what I needed to have some perspective on my tiny "problems."
So after the service, I talked to a dear friend of mine named Callan. Callan went to China for two weeks about six months ago and has been radically moved by her Savior.
So we got to talking about the service and how good it was and she went on to tell me about how she's struggling with obeying God right now. She knows He wants her to go, but she doesn't know where and she doesn't know when.
This feeling of confusion hits pretty close to home for me. I know I need to go, but I have no idea what going looks like. I told her this and she said something that really stuck me in an extremely encouraging way.
"God doesn't fit in a box."
Just reflect on that for a second.
God is way to big to fit in any box that my little mind can construct.
That's it. I've been trying to make up my own ways of what "going" looks like. I'm trying to convince God that I want to go here at this time for this long and learn this.
But God doesn't exactly work that way.
This is where I need to rest in Him. This is where I need to trust that God has it all planned out just like I wrote in the last letter.
No worries. No plans. No control. No box that I can fit my God in.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

omnicient

Dear Candice,
Today, I was reminded of how great of a God I belong to. I read this in Isaiah.
"So why didn't anyone come when I knocked? Why didn't anyone answer when I called?
Do you think I've forgotten how to help? Am I so decrepit that I can't deliver?
I'm as powerful as ever. I can reverse what I once did.
I can dry up the sea with a word, turning river water into desert sand, leaving the fish stinking in the sun.
I can turn all the lights out in the sky and pull down the curtian." {isaiah50:2-3}

WOW. Just wow.
It hurts my little human to head to try to think about how holy my Father is.
We've all heard the cliche that "God has a plan."
Candice, let me give you some perspective.
Before anyone knew you would be here, He planned your whole life.
If that's not enough, before the Savior of the world, in His divine power hung the sun in the sky, He planned that right here, right now, you would be who you are- unlike anything else He has ever, or will ever create.
He really is as powerful as ever. He's God. He can do whatever the heck He wants.
God is omnicient. He knows everything.
EVERYTHING.
Don't forget that. When you're struggling and you don't think anyone understands, He knows.
When you succeed, theres no need to shove it down anyone's throat. He knows. And let's get real here. He is the only One who really matters.
Candice, He knows you.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

inspire

Dear Candice,
I have so much to say. I don't know where to begin. I guess I'll start with the inspiration for this letter.
Before school this morning, my friend Mary Katherine stopped me in the hallway. She told me that she found my blog and read every letter. Now, this was totally random and out of the blue, so I didin't exactly know how to respond. I mean, I was super excited that someone has read these, but at the same time, I was almost embarrassed. I started writing these letters before I was even in highschool...when I started, my writing skills weren't exactly on par.
But then I went and read some of the earlier ones. Yeah sure, some of the letters make no sense and the discriptions may suck, but I realized that every single word I've written has been from the bottom of my heart. And I mean that in the most serious way possible. I write about things here that I'm not sure that i would necessarily say otherwise. The stuff I write about is real.
These are my thoughts.
These are things that I think are really important that other people know.
Which brings me to another point.
I know that at least seven people have read my letters- or at least visited the site because they voted on the poll that I have  on the home screen. But that's it. No one else reads them that I know of.
I know I just said it, but I'll say it again. I write these letters because I think they are things that people need to know. Thats the whole reason I write these. If I wanted to, I could just keep all my thoughts in my head, which may be where they really belong, but instead, I choose to share them with whoever cares enough to take time to read what I have to say.
These letters are about real struggles. Struggles and conflicts that I think more people wrestle with. I just wish they knew they aren't alone.
Okay. Back to this morning.
So the last thing she said to me (or at least the last thing I remember) was, "You have a real gift, Sara. You inspire me."
Inspire. What a powerful word.
When I think about it, that's all I've ever wanted. Just to inspire someone. That's another reason I write these.
Maybe it's working.
So, Candice, who inspires you?
I love you.
Love,
Sara

open arms

Dear Candice,
every once in a while I'll see something that is so human and simple that is such a beautiful picture of my relationship with my Father. Today, I watched my 5 year old little sister melt in my dads arms as soon as he got home from work. She heard his car pull in the driveway and ran as fast as she could to him and jumped in to his arms as he sweetly greeted her with soft, caring words. He hadn't been gone but a few hours, but she just couldn't wait to know she was safe in his comforting arms.

Woah. It hit me like a ton of bricks.
Shouldn't I be running into my Fathers arms as soon as I know he's near? Shouldn't I be so eager to feel His arms around me that I stop everything that I'm doing to be with Him? Shouldn't I long to feel His presence so much around me that nothing else in my tiny mind matters? He's never apart from me for just a few hours- or just a few seconds at that. But I've found that it's me who is away from Him.
He is never far from me.

So after this little metaphorical run in with the Holy Spirit, I ran back to my Savior with open arms.
And you know what?
He caught me.
He wrapped His arms around me. He sweetly greeted me with soft, caring words.
All my little worldly worries melted away from the divine embrace with my Jesus.

Run to Him with open arms.
I promise He'll catch you.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

be still

Dear Candice,
I'm sorry I haven't written in so long. I've been so caught in life and in all the random business that I have entangled myself in.
I just haven't taken the time to be still. And that's all I need. In the midst of all this chaos I have been trying to calm myself down by dumping my problems on people but that hasn't been working (go figure).
I have been so caught up in school work, friends, family, dance, and all that stuff that I haven't been still.
So a few nights ago, before I went to bed I decided that I needed real stillness- stillness more than just not moving or not talking. Real stillness of embracing the presence of my Father. So I asked Him to just take me away.
You wouldn't believe the freedom that came from just being safe in His arms for a few minutes.
Those few little moments where all I needed to be refreshed and wake up to His will for me.
All I needed was time with Him.
So now I know that dumping my problems on other people is nothing compared to just sitting silent and still before the throne of a Holy God.
He is all I need.

I love you.
Love,
Sara
'Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nation. I will be exalted in all the earth!' {psalm46:10}

bringing haiti home

Dear Candice,

            I’m having some serious Haiti withdraws. With all of my heart the only thing I want is to hold tight the innocent kids that I met there. With all of my heart, the only thing I want is to see God break me apart again in such a beautiful place. With all of my heart, the only thing I want is to serve.

            I’m in a creative writing class at school. Its my next-to-last class of the day. We rarely do much in that class but yesterday we were given an assignment. We had to write a paragraph description of a place. We had to describe the place in the most vivid way possible. It could be any place. Literally any place. So of course, I pick Haiti as my place. Here’s what my paper read:

            I will never forget Haiti. The dirty streets. The bone thin children. The old men smashing rocks into tiny pieces just to feed their kids the one meal they will get today. The smell of open sewers and people who had never seen clean water- much less showered. I remember the miles of tarps that they called tents set up as shelter from the rain. I remember looking at the tops of giant green mountains with sides that had fallen due to the damage. I remember the young girl holding her baby of just a few days thanking God that her baby was alive. I remember the hope that overflowed from every dark brown face. I will never forget Haiti.

            So the next day in class, we had the opportunity to read our paper. I was sick so I sounded kind of weird and no one else had read theirs so I didn’t raise my hand. But then a few minutes passed and a few kids read their papers. So when my teacher said, “Anyone else want to read theirs?” I thought to myself, “What am I even afraid of?” so I raised my hand, stood up and began to read. Amidst my stuffed up voice and my shaking legs, I read it. When I was finished I sat down and waited for my teacher to say something. He looked at me and said, “Hope?” I simply replied, “Yes. Hope. Espwa.”

            I thank God for that amazing opportunity to share with the kids in my class how amazing Haiti was.

            I thank God that He provided a way for me to go.

I love you.

Love,

Sara

walking stories

Dear Candice,

Every time I drive past this one house in my neighborhood, there is a man who always sits outside. He looks at least 80 years old. He always sits outside on his walker. Without fail. Every day.

             I remember being younger and sitting in the mall with my dad. He asked me if I ever wondered about people and their stories. Ever since then about 6 years ago, I have always wondered what everyone’s story is. No one comes from the same place. No one has seen the same things. Everyone has been through, endured, and lived a totally different life. So I think about that man when I drive past him. What is his story? Where did he move here from? Who does he live with? Where has he been? Why does he sit outside everyday reading the newspaper while sitting in his walker?

            When we were driving from the airport to the Creche in Haiti, I was sitting by Caetlyn. I leaned over to her and said, “I wonder what their stories are.” To this day, I wonder what Dafka’s story is. I even wonder about your story. Where did you come from? How did you end up where you did in Alabama?

            Part of me hates not knowing. But part of me loves how my curiosity has lead me to actually asking some people what their story is.

            What beautiful work of a creative God to write the stories of every single person from celebrity to orphan.

            What’s your story?

I love you.

Love,

Sara

not ready to leave

{haiti day 8}
Dear Candice,
I'm on the plane on my way to Dallas. The Haiti trip is over. I am a different person. I wouldn't have changed a minute of it for the world.
All I want to do right now is trun this plane around and go get Dafka. Today is the first day I have gone without seeing her and i can't handle it.
There are so many emotions racing through my head that I don't know what to think.
Home sickness is starting to settle in. I want to go home- to my REAL home...Haiti.
I am going back to tennessee to prepare for when God calls me to go back. And when He calls, I'll be ready.
There's nothing else.
Just Haiti.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

love of orphans and motherly love

{haiti day 7}
Dear Candice,
today for the first half of the day we went shopping. I bought a machete, some braceletes, some neckleces, jars, and a painting. We got to bargian with the vendors on the side of the road. It was super cool.
For the second half of the day, we were free to do what we wanted. So I went down to the Creche. We leave tomorrow so I had to say goodbye to the kids. I spent every second of my time down there with Dafka. I didn't put her down. I just couldn't do it. So I took her out to the patio and sung to her as she fell asleep, as usual. And then i started talkng to her while she was alseep. She had no idea I was talking to her because she was asleep, but even if she was awake, I was speaking English and she is only two. I cried and cried as I sung to her and told her how much I love her.
Having to say goodbye was the hardest thing I have ever done. After she woke up, she saw that I was crying. She reached up, took her tiny hands and wiped my sunbured, tear saturated face. then she laid back down. My tears did'nt stop. i continued to weep and weep as I held such a fragile and treasured life in my arms. So she looked back up at me, took off my glasses, and wiped my tears with the rough fabric of her dress.
When I finally said goodbye, I made my way up to the roof. When I was going up, I saw Laura Lyn. She saw that I was crying and quickly embraced me in her arms. Her welcoming hug was the boost that I needed to make it the next few hours.
So I went up to the roof of the guest house to try to write. All I could hear was her innocent voice as she cried my name 6 floors below me. I looked down the off the roof and saw her sitting on the stairs caling my name with tears streaming down her dark face. As soon as she say me, she motioned for me to come down to her. I broke. I had to go back down there but I knew that if I went back down, I wouldnt be able to leave.
So I sat back in a chair on the roof sobbing and crying out to God in my distress.
I knew that He was the only one that could help me.
After her cries stopped, I looked down again, 15 minutes later to see her laying on the steps waiting for me.
I can't leave. I just don't think that i physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually have the ability to go back to the states.
This is where I belong.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

canez

{haiti day 6}
Dear Candice,
Today we went to the village of Canez in Haiti. Its a very small village with a population of no more than one hundred people. Last night they tried to prepare us with what Canez would be like. But when we got there, I realized that they couldn't prepare us for something like this. Canez was so far from anything I have ever seen or could ever imagine. But I absolutely loved it. The people's houses were these mud huts and were very small. Women would walk up to us with their babies and give the babies to us to hold. The children didn't wear pants becuase that's how they potty train their kids. There was one tree there and the rest of the area was dirt and thorn bushes. it was right on the coast of a big lake so there was a constant breeze which was nice because it was very hot. It was beautiful.
There was such a peace there. There was just this feeling of a serene joy that was overflowing from the village. It was amazing. We split into groups and went hut to hut to pray with people who lived in the huts. Every hut we went to, we would ask if there was anyone in that home who was sick, anyone who was converted, and we asked if we could pray with them. Almost every single person said yes, there is someone who is sick, yes, everyone is converted, and yes, we could pray with them. That blew me away. Yes, they were sick, and yes they were converted. Sickness in Haiti, especcially in Canez, isnt like having a cold in the states. There is no doctor there. There is no medicine there. And then on top of that, when we would ask them how we could pray with them, more than a few times, they would say something like, "That I would serve God better," or, "Thank God for all that He has blessed me with." WHAT?!?!?!?! These people are living in the most impoverished country in our hemisphere and they have NOTHING and yet they want to THANK God for ALL that He has blessed them with?????
What is wrong with me? Why do I not have that mentality. Man, it made me think long and hard about what I thank God for.
At one point, I was holding a little baby. He was the tiniest baby I have ever seen. He was all bundled up and sweating like no ones buisness. And he was dead asleep. So I sang to him. I sat down with him in my arms at the shore, and Sang to him every old hymn i could think of for a solid 45 minutes. It was the biggest blessing in my life. I just sat there and rocked this beautiful creation and sung to him about how good God is. I would do anything to get those few minutes back. They were amazing.
I may never know the name of that baby boy, but I know for sure that God loves him more than anything.
Only two more days.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

eliza

{haiti day 5}
Dear Candice,
Today I went to soccer camp again. My friend samantha shared the Gospel and one little boy was converted. alot of the other kids laughed as he came down to be prayed over. Jesus says, "Blessed are those are persecuted for righteousness sake, for theirs is the kindom of heaven." That little boy is blessed.
I was only there for half of the day. For the second half, I went down to the cretch and spent 3 hours there. i just love those kids so much. They are so beautiful.
Tonight, I lead the devotion. I talked about one of my favorite verses- matthew 10:27. It says, "What I tell you in the dark, say in the light, and what you hear whispered, proclaim on the rooftops." On Saturday, right when we got off the plane, there was a man walking around and speaking Creole (as do most  Haitian men...). Anyway, he was talking and then he looked at me and said quietly, "Jesus is coming back" in English. And I thought to myslef, "THAT'S IT!" I got so excited because I knew that God had just used that man to whisper to me. So I had to go tell everyone on the rooftops that Jesus is coming back. After that, we got on a bus to take us to the guest house. In the front of the bus, the words "God is good" were written. There it was again! In the dark, God told me that He is good. So I had to say it in the light. I told the people on my team that. I told them those things and not to be afraid of saying things on the rooftops or in the light. Because the next verse said not to fear the people who can kill you but can't destroy your soul. I just hope they understood what I meant.
On our trip there is a 10-year-old girl named Eliza. She has the faith that only comes from an innocent soul and feeds her righteousness on a daily baisis. She asked to go to Haiti for Christmas (wow#1). We have been here for 5 days, and not once have i heard here complain one single sylable (wow#2). She is so faithful to the kids in the Creche that she is with them every second that she can holding at least 2 kids at a time (wow #3). After devotion tonight, one of our translators, Mardoche, asked to pray over her. So our entire team of sixty- something gathered around yough Eliza to lay hands on her and pray for her. Mardoche's prayer was in Creole but it was so powerful. By the end of his prayer Eliza, as well as many of us, was in tears. It was so powerful. A few other people got to share some words with here when we were done praying. I fought for my time to share with her one of my favorite Bible passages.
I finally got my turn. So I scooped her up in my arms and let her cry for a moment. Then I looked at her and began talking to her. I shared with her about the prophet Jeremiah. I told her that in the first chapter of the book of Jeremiah, God called him to go a preach about Him. But Jeremiah told God that he was only a child and that God can't use him because he was too young. But God replied, "Do not say, 'I am only a child!' For wherever I send you, you shall go; and whatever I command you, you shall say."
So I told Eliza that she is not just a child. But to keep going and saying what God wants her to.
It was a precious exchange that I shared with a precious treasure of God.
Say it in the light,
I love you.
Love,
Sara

so much more than soccer

{haiti day 4}
Dear Candice,
Today I went to soccer camp. There were about 100 kids there who were anywhere from the age of 6 to 14. What we did was we took a group of about 10 kids to different stations where we did things like pass the ball, race, and stretch. Then we sat them all down, fed them cookies and kool aid and shared the Gospel with them. For the afternoon session, I got to share the Gospel. I told the story of the women at the well. I wasn't sure what to say when I went up to share, but I know that God blessed what I had to say. The Gospel is not just something that you can mess up. At the end, I asked who wanted to have the Living Water that Jesus offered the woman at the well. 5 kids came to Christ. I'm looking forward to seeing them one day.
After soccer camp was finished we came home and ate dinner and had a devotion. One of our translators named Isaiah did our devotion. He talked about Jonah. His speech was beautiful and sure did inspire me. It's good to have reasurance that I need to do God's will on a daily basis.
4 days down. I'm loving it.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

independence from independence

{haiti day 3}
Dear Candice,
Happy 4th of July!! Today has been a beautiful day. We got the choice of where we wanted to go today. Our choices were to go to a soccer camp that we are putting on or to go down to the cretch all day. Since i started building relationships yesterday with the beautiful kids, I stayed at the cretch. I met a little boy named Wilnes. He is 11 years old. He and I played soccer for about an hour today and it was alot of fun.
He asked me some random questions like how old I am and if I like Justin Bieber.
And then he asked me where my mom was. This really hit me. I told him that my mom was at my house with the rest of my family. He then proceded to ask me about the rest of my family. Candice, that was when I realized how much I love my family. Sure they can be really annoying, and they aren't perfect, but at least I have them.
Dafka stayed by my side the whole day. I sung her more songs. After I finished singing "How Deep the Fathers Love for Us" I stopped singing. She looked up at me and opened my mouth. I was slightly puzzled by why she did this, so I closed my mouth again. Then I realized she wanted me to keep singing. So I sang another song. And then she fell asleep.
What an Independance day this has been.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

falling in love

{haiti day 2}
Dear Candice,
We went to church today in Haiti. Church in Haiti is different than church in America. 1) The don't speak English 2) There is no personal space so I am squished 3) People in the pews aren't afraid to interject randomly with an "Amen" or "Hallelujah". and 4) Church lasted 2 and a half hours...It's pretty long.
So I just went down to the cretch which is where the orphans stay at the guest house that we are staying at. There is one little girl named Dafka who immediatley attached herself to me. She is one of the most beautiful children I have ever seen. She is two-years-old and speaks no english. She wouldn't let me put her down, so I sang to her. I sang to Dafka the old hymns that my mom used to sing to me when I was little. Dafka had no idea what I was saying, but she fell sleep. She slept and slept until she woke up about an hour later. I love her. She reminds me of you and I love it.
This is amazing.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

jumping in with both feet

{haiti day 1}
Dear Candice,
I'm on the plane to Port-Au-Prince. It's all real. The pilot just came on the speakers and said we're 100 miles away. It's acctually happening.
I don't know what to expect. I've never had to worry about safety. I've never had to deal with a language barrier. This is all so much to me.Ii don't know what to know. There is so much that is unknown. Part of me is afraid. But I know that I have nothing to fear. Psalm 56:18 says, "When I am afraid, I put my trust in You." So if and when I get in situations where I start to get scared, I will put my trust in Him.
I have a friend who has such a love and burning passion for Haiti and is so changed by what it did to him. Darden has  been praying for me and encouraging me through the whole Haiti process. I was talking to him this morning when he asked me if i was anxious. I said yes, which is probably an understatement. I am nervous. I don't know what's going to happen or what this trip will bring. So after i told him that i was nervous, he replied, "Good. That means you're ready."
Am I? Am I ready to go and experience a third world country, let alone one of the most empoverished? I trust Darden. But I trust Jesus more. And I know for sure that I would not be here if God didn't think I was ready.
So here I go.
the moment I've been waiting for.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

ready to go

Dear Candice,
4 more days. Did you get that? 4.MORE.DAYS. 96 more hours. Thats all the time I have left until i go to Haiti. This has all been an emotional journey. I have been so anxious about what's in store for me. Quite frankly, I have no idea what Haiti will be like. All i know is, it will be amazing.
For weeks now I have had some hard feelings. I got the feeling that I'm not ready, that Haiti would be too drastic of a change, that i simply would not be able to handle a third world country. But through earnestly praying and seeking God's Truth for the past few days, the lies and hard feelings have been drowned out by the hope of what He has planned. Now, I know for sure that I am ready for Haiti, and I know that Haiti is ready for me.
I don't know much of what is going to happen, or what to expect, but I am cirtian that I will come back to Franklin, Tennessee a TOTALLY different person.
I am still anxious about Haiti. Am i anxious about weather I can handle it? Not at all. I am anxious to see what God opens my eyes to on this trip.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

the 'me' factor

Dear Candice,
I'm sorry i haven't written in a while. I would say i have been busy, but it's summer and honestly I've been lazy.

Something has been bothering me lately. Something that I don’t think very many people want to talk about because they are guilty of it, including myself. And that something is selfishness. Just think for a second on when the last time was when you did something that wasn’t about you. It seems as if the motives behind most of the things we do is “to save time so that I can spend more time for ME,” or “I want to save money so that I can spend more on ME,” or “I want to buy this shirt so that everyone will see that I gave money to orphans and they will think I am a good person,” or “I want to help that person so that I feel better about myself.” I’m not going to lie, I think that way a lot. I hate it though. I hate that I’m so self-absorbed. I hate that I am my fist priority. A lot of times I spend so much time on doing what I want to do, or what will make me feel better that I distract myself from spending time with my Creator. It’s funny that I could spend hours doing my hair or exercising or baking (which all make me feel good) but after a few more hours I don’t feel that great anymore. On the other hand, just a 10 minute intimate conversation with my Savior will leave me refreshed and satisfied for a whole lot longer than hours of self-fulfillment. But I still get way too caught up in what I want. So my new objective is to have God as my fist priority and then fit everything around Him, instead of trying to cram in a few seconds of prayer here or there.

So if I just sit here and write about how I’m so selfish I will not get ANYWHERE. I need to do something about it. It’s time to take action. So I’m going to find some way to serve someone other than myself and not tell the whole world what “good” of a person I am for serving other people. I’m not exactly what I’m going to do yet, but I will find something. Trust me.

I want every thought of what I want to do or what will make me happy to turn into thanks that I am even alive and that I am healthy and praise to the One that brought me into this world.

Ready. Set. Go.

I love you.

Love,

Sara

letters to haiti

Dear Candice,

It’s real. I’m going to Haiti. It all clicked tonight.  There are so many emotions. There’s so much to do. I’m still in awe that this is all happening. That God chose me. I know it’s for a purpose and I’m itching to see what the purpose is. I can’t wait to go. I’m so excited!

At this point, my biggest hurdle is my support letters. I’m used to writing letters to you updating you on things, pouring my heart out, and sharing with you things that you will never know. This is so emotionally draining. It’s not like I can just sit down and whip up a quick and easy casual letter that not many people read. This is kind of a big deal.

I’m really looking forward to when this leg of the race is over. I’m enjoying every minute of it- just some minutes more than others. I can’t wait to go. I really can’t. I’m ready to be broken and changed again.

I love you.

Love,

Sara

stephen

Dear Candice,
throughout the past few weeks in church, the highschoolers have been reading throughout the book of Acts. Acts is all about the early church and the first Christians. Last night we talked about Acts chapter 6 and 7 and the stoning of Stephen. It says that Stephen was so filled with the Holy Spirit that his face was glowing like that of an angel. This is by far one of my favorite stories in the entire Bible. Basically, the church leaders (or "Christians" as they called themselves but were anything but) were upset about Stephen sharing the Gospel. And they all got so upset that they took him outside and stoned him. The whole time he was preaching the Good News, he was filled with the Holy Spirit. It wasn't actually him speaking- it was God speaking through him. So while he is sitting in this pit being stoned he cries out, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit. Lord do not hold this sin against them." What amazing last words. This passage leaves me speechless. Wow. Just wow.
I pray that i would be able to have such amazing and inspiring words.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

haiti bound

Dear Candice,
guess what! God is sooooo amazing. I am going to Haiti. In early July, I will be going to a realm of the world that i didn't even know existed. God has big plans for me. And He is executing them. I have never been so excited to do something in my life. Ever.
So tonight we had a meeting. All of the students that are going on mission trips this summer meet every other monday at my church. Tonight they suggested that we keep a journal to document our journey throughout this experience. And I'm not a huge fan of just talking to a piece of paper so I decided to tell you about everything. So you're almost my journal. But not really.
The first thing in my journal needs to be my fears about the trip. So here's a few of them...

Sickness
Attachment issues to the country
Becoming mad at the world that I live in when I get back
Rejection of the reasons that I am going- from peers and from the Haitians
Dangerous people and situations in Haiti

Maybe some of them are a bit irrational but they are real fears that I have. From now until I leave, I am going to pray that God would give me peace about all of my fears so that they wouldn't get in the way of me doing His will. I don't want to be restrained by my fears.
These little fears will NOT hold me down.
I love you.
Love,
Sara

urban plunge

dear candice,
what an experience. Chattanooga was nothing at all less than i had hoped it would be. it was just amazing.
when we got to Chattanooga, i didn't really know what to expect. i wasn't sure what we would be doing or who we would be meeting. but God had it all planned out and i met everyone and did everything that He wanted.
one of our main focus missions was at a place called widows harvest. the first day we were there, we were supposed to build a wheel chair ramp. so we went to the place where widows harvest is located to be sent to wherever we supposed to go. but when we pulled up and got out, we were greeted by an older man, probably in his 60's, who immediately told us to load up his truck with wood, a lawn mower, and 16 80 lb bags of concrete. unsure of what they were for, we obeyed. then, he took us into a small old room in the building. it was here that he explained to us what the mission statement of widows harvest is. i have never seen someone be so passionate for what they did than he was. then he told us to load up our van and follow him. once again, we did what he said. we pulled up to an old small house and unloaded all of the material for the wheelchair ramp. there, we finished the ramp by putting in the side rails and pouring concrete into the ground. it wasn't until we actually needed to get this man's attention that we realized that we didn't know his name. so one of us asked him what his name was. he blankly stared and replied, "unberievable." he never told us his name. so we called him mr. sir. through out the day, we learned alot from mr. sir. he never quit and never complained. but what i loved the most about him was how much he expected out of us. he had alot of things for us to do that were quite a bit of work. and he expected us to do it. we continued to ask his name, and he continued to reply, "unberievable." mr. sir is an amazing man and he is on fire for God.
all i want is to have the contagious passion for Jesus Christ that mr. sir did.
through the rest of the trip we continued to apply what we learned from mr. sir to what we did. we had fun, we worked hard, we didn't complain, and we worshiped God in all that we did.
i may never know mr. sir's name, but i will always know his Savior's name.
i love you.
love,
sara.

ready to wake up

{ready to wake up}
dear candice,
it has been nine months now since i saw you. but my experience with you was something i will never forget. i leave today for chattanooga to go and serve the Lord in whatever ways he calls me too. this trip is much like the one when i came to see you. there is a group of about a dozen high schoolers that i am going with. we will be there for about 5 days. i cant wait. God broke me apart so that i could see His glory when i was in talladega this summer with you. my hope is that He opens my eyes to even more in the next few days.
this is the next step of my faith in action. i cant wait to go share my God with everyone i can. and i really cant wait to tell people about my experiences when i get back. God does amazing things and He alone is holy. i am ready to witness what He wants me to witness and to hear what He wants to say to me and see what He wants to show me.
so here i go.
i love you.
love,
sara

young and free

dear candice,
im tired of being told what i can't do just because of my age. does anyone realize that i can actually function on my own? i mean, this is ridiculous. all of these adults keep saying that age is just a number when they look condescendingly upon my generation. i could change the world if i really tried. other kids have done it. i mean look at michael jackson. he was the "king of pop" and he started performing at the age of like 5. justin bieber got his big break off of youtube videos at the age of 12 and now he has his face on everything from stickers to watches to tshirts that 13-year-old girls wear. for goodness sake! mary, the mother of Jesus, gave birth to the Savior of the world at age 13! now if all of these people can shake up the world and essentially turn it upside down, why can't i? no one stops justin bieber from making millions of dollars of of a three minute song so why would they try to stop me from telling the glory of my Creator and helping people come to Christ?
something is stirring in my generation. i just know it. but why are we fighting back? why would anyone want to hold back kids from trying to do the will of God? are they embarrassed because they aren't willing to step out? whats the deal because i obviously missed something.
paul tells timothy, "don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believer in speech, life, love, faith, and purity." {1 timothy 4:12} so here paul is saying not to let people talk smack to you because you're just a kid but be an example to them in the way that you live.
God tells jeremiah, "do not say, 'i'm just a kid.' for to all to whom i send you, you shall go, and whatever i command you, you shall speak. do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you." God is telling jeremiah that his age doesn't matter the least bit. so whatever God tells him to say, he will say and wherever God tells him to go, he will go.
is God just not saying this anymore or are we not listening. i highly doubt God would just decide to take a break and tells us to do whatever we want. im pretty sure that God still wants the whole world to hear His name. we are just so busy with school, sports, and boyfriends that we aren't making time for God.
im tired of procrastinating. i don't want to keep saying, "ill do it when i get out of high school." im doing it now. im going where God wants me to go now and im saying what He wants me to say now.
you aren't just a kid. you are on a mission.
i love you.
love,
sara

ready to break free

dear candice,
candice, i feel like im locked in a box or trapped in a bubble and i just can't get out. everything seems so fake. this world that im living in is so deprived. it's so hypocritical, jugemental, beligerant, condesending, and selfish. im really getting tired of it. i want to get out to the real world. when some people say that, they mean they want to grow up and do everything themselves and they dont want anyone to tell them what to do, when to do it or how to do it. they want it to be perfect. but for me, i feel like my world is too perfect. i have way more than i need, physically and emotionally. i dont care about growing up. i want people to give me boundries and obsticles so that i can push my way through them with the help of my God so that i will come out stronger. i want my world to be totally screwed up. am i crazy for hoping for these things? am i being compleatly irrational? should i just shut up and be thankful that im even living? am i out of my mind for thinking this? no. the answer is no. im not crazy. everyone else is. if no one else in this entire world wants to acctually experience the spirit of God from dying to themselves and giving up all that they are and all that they have for the Kingdom of God, then they are all crazy. if everyone else in the entire world would rather go through the motions and be so caught up in the few little days they will spend on this earth instead of the eternity that they will potentially spend with their Creator, than am i really the irrational one here? i want to be set free from the chains that this world has bound me with and go crazy for God. its hard though. its hard to just totally randomly start talking about God in the middle of a conversation with someone else who doesnt have the same passion that you do. its hard to go out and tell every soul about the freedom that comes from believeing in a greater picture of salvation when you cant even drive. its hard to talk to people about how you feel about this world when they just build up a wall and totally ignore you. its hard. but hey, if nothing in life was hard than we wouldnt need God to give us strength.
im ready to go and do the hard things- no matter the cost. im ready to go and go and go and not stop until the whole world His name. im ready to serve. im ready to do Gods will in all of us, even if im the only on who steps up to the plate. im ready.
let's go.
i love you.
love,
sara